I will write a few things that happened through my life for my children and friends to read when I am gone so you may see how the Lord has preserved my life until the present. I walked when I was nine months old and fell and cut a gash in my cheek. The scar remains to this day. This wound caused sores to break out on my face and eyes until I was almost blind. When I was two years old I laid my head over my mothers head to protect her from my father's wickedness. He threw a knife at her. It passed my eyes and went into the wall. She thanked the Lord that it did not kill me. When I was going on seven years old I turned nearly blind and could not see for fourteen months. When I was twelve years old someone scared me when I was upstairs and I jumped out of the window and it never hurt me. When I was fourteen in the spring I stood on some ice that was on very deep water. It cracked all around me and left me standing there. I fell on one sheet and laid there until through my exertions I made my way to the bank. I never thanked the Lord for it as I have since, although I was very religious. I always read much and never danced as I thought it was a sin. I always wished to the Lord that I had lived in the days of the Saviour so I could have followed him. When I was twenty-two years old I broke a vein in my breast. My life was nearly gone and at that time while I was sick I had a dream that I was in heaven and I saw so many things that tongue cannot tell them for I never realized at that time that the gospel would be presented to me in its fulness, which was done afterwards.On April 7, 1849 I was married to Carl Roseberry in Malmo, Sweden to whom I have borne eleven children. I will record their names and dates of birth:

Carolina Hellena, born August 14, 1850

Anna Augusta, born January 29, 1853

Anna Maria, born September 2, 1855

Neils Joseph, born September 10, 1858

Emma Carolina, born September 10, 1858

Hannah Hellena, born Oct. 2, 1861

Charlie, born Oct. 2, 1861

Ellen Augusta, born Dec. 26, 1864

Louisa Christina, born Dec. 26, 1864

Hellena Charlotte, born Dec. 26, 1864

Elizabeth, born March 8, 1869
Deaths:

Carolina Hellena

Annie Augusta

Ellen Augusta

Hellena Charlotte

I helped to build me a nice house and just four years after I was married I heard the first of Mormonism. The mob scared me away and said they would tell my man.

The first Mormon I heard preach was Brother W. Winberry. He was talking about the thousand years to a man, but I dare not ask what it meant. After that I went to meeting and the police was there writing everyone's name that listened to the Mormons to put them in prison. I thought the two brothers looked more like angels than men, I only heard them sing and pray. I then went home, a half mile with my hands clasped together and my heart full of prayer to God wishing he would show me if that was for my salvation. If it was I would receive it if I had to go all my life to prison. When I came home I knelt down to pray and behind me I saw a dark shadow shaming me for kneeling down, but I kept kneeling and praying every day and to go and listen to the Mormons. In a short time after, in the morning at six o'clock I was wide awake but could not get my eyes open, I saw a man standing before me dressed in a white robe. I did not know at that time what a robe was but it was white as snow. He read the whole of the 6th verse of the 20th chapter of John the Revelator. I took the book in my hand as soon as I got up. When I opened the book the first thing I saw was the verse. I did not know at that time much about the Bible and that gave me much faith. From that time on my faith increased every day. I thought I had to go and be baptized but my [p.1] husband was worse than them all. I will not tell much of my trouble but my joy and happiness in the Lord. I cannot tell it all. Finally I thought the priest must know about the Mormons so I went to him, the evil one tempted me to go to him before I was baptized. I was ready to go and was begging and crying to my husband every day to let me go. Finally he told me I could go but it would be against his will. He thought I would not go against his will, but I told him I would first do the Lord's will and then do his after, so I went to the priest. When I opened the door, he shut it, when I opened it he shut the next door and he never saw me. When I got in the middle of the room the Lord spoke to me and said, "You get away from here and wait until you are called and you shall get what you shall answer him." I can never thank the Lord enough that he never saw me. I left that room in a hurry so no one should see me. I went home. My husband kept against me and at that time the angel came to me again at 6 o'clock in the morning and told me so many high and holy things so I went and told the Elders every word and when I had told them it slipped my mind.

At the same time the angel talked to me, my husband came and knocked at the door and I got up and opened it. He looked very sorrowful. The boat that he had on the sea has sunk loaded with rock. I told him I was thankful for that loss. I thought to myself I could soon get him to be a Mormon but it took four years and a half after that time. The next day he went on the other side of the sea on another boat to get part of his boat. I thought that was the last chance I had to get baptized so the next night when everybody was asleep I went with President Ludlow and another brother and sister to the sea-side at twelve o'clock at night. Not a star to be seen in the heavens. One evil spirit whispered on my left side and said, "Don't you get baptized. Your husband will not go with you." And the Good Spirit whispered on my right side and said, "You get baptized and your husband will go with you only it will take a long time."

They kept on whispering to me until I came to the water. I thought of my mother's words that the good Spirit was on the right side and the evil one on the left and the brethren kneeled to pray and I kneeled to pray so no one could hear me. I asked the Lord to give me wisdom that I might never shrink from any duty. Brother Ludlow took me under his arm to go out in the sea and as soon as we stepped our feet into the water we was surrounded with a circle of glory from heaven with sparks like fire moving along with us half a mile out in the sea until the water was deep enough to baptize me and then they stopped until I was baptized and they followed me out again. Brother Ludlow said he never saw a sign like that before. I can never tell how happy I was. I felt like a new born babe when I put my dry clothes on, I kneeled down and thanked the Lord for his goodness to me. When I raised up we all saw a big half circle of light close in front of us over the sea, them that was with us did not know that I prayed and that light stayed there until we came in my house and we had a mile and a half to go. Then I called my hired girl to see the big light when she came it was gone then she says, "Mother come and see here is three bright stars over the kitchen door." When I came they were gone. She says that shall be for a sign to father, you and me that we will join the church. There was not another star to be seen in the heavens that night. The name of the girl was Matilda and we sat all together in the dark and talked all night. There was a clear light in every corner of the room and we rejoiced exceedingly all night.

After a few days my husband came home and when he found out I was baptized then my troubles commenced for he said, "What will you do if I go and kill myself?" and he ran away and said, "Now you have parted us." He went down to my sister and told her I was baptized and that he had left me and she said, "You had better hurry home for you know haw bad she feels when you are away." And he came home. He found me crying bitterly so it was all he could do to console me for I thought if he had killed himself the fault would be mine and the Lord would be displeased with me. Then my sister went to the priest that I mentioned before and he says, "Hurry and bring her over here before she goes too deep into Mormonism." Then my sister came and asked me to go with her so we went and that feeling of sorrow and fear left me and I felt as light as a bird and the word of the Lord was fulfilled so I had plenty to answer him. He asked me if I was a Mormon and I said, "Yes, I am and I have not come here to be converted by you for I know it is a true gospel, sent to us and I have come to ask you what you think of it, and there stands the scriptures that said the Lord will send out fishers in the last days and afterwards he will send out hunters in the last days to gather his elect and I [p.2] dreamed the other night that you were out hunting so I thought you were one of them for the Lord commanded everyone to be baptized and have hands laid on for the gift of the Holy Ghost by one having authority and the signs that shall follow them that believe," and he answered, "The Lord help that I may now be so foolish to be a Mormon." And he said to my sister, "Oh, what shall we do for she has gone so far in it we cannot get her back." I was afraid to talk with him before so I thought he was better than me, but now I know that he is not better than I am for I was filled with the spirit and could explain the scriptures to him so I asked him what it meant by the Stick of Judah and Abraham being welded together. He said that it meant that Israel should plant two grape vines and they should grow together and be one. And I told him that it was the Bible and the Book of Mormon was the record of the Abrahams. And then he took the Bible away from me and said that it was too high for me to understand. He told me that if I would deny Mormonism and come to him I would be a great help to him to preach to his congregation for he had a big all the time for the women. [unclear] He said he had never heard any person explain so much of the scriptures as I could. I told him it was the Spirit of the Lord that gave me what I should say, if I should deny the testimony I have received the Lord would withdraw his Spirit and I could not explain and comprehend the scriptures.

My testimony to the priest was powerful so much that he got another priest and came to my home ten times and tried to turn me from Mormonism. My own husband and all present hoped to see me deny the truth, but the Spirit of the Lord was with me and they all got a good testimony from me then and the last time the priest was there at my house I told him it was a shame for him to bring another priest with him to me to dispute about the scriptures. Come alone if you wish to know whether Mormonism is true and let us kneel down and pray together and ask the Lord to show you how to explain the scriptures and then he turned to the other priest and said, "That is just what we have to do as Mrs. Roseberry says." Then left me for a year.

Mormonism was just being introduced in Malmo and everybody that joined was hunted like wild beasts to be destroyed. My trouble for four and a half years was more than I can describe with pen. I was the only one in his family and mine that joined the Church. I fasted and prayed many times to know what I should do to get my husband saved. Finally the elders gave me counsel that I would have to leave him for a while but promise to come back again if he wanted me. They said they would rather be in prison than to be in my place at this time. I had two children, little girls, one of them died. This softened the heart of my husband a little so I told him it was better for us to go to Denmark to live because he said he could never be a Mormon in Sweden where everybody knew him. I asked if I could go then and he could come the next spring. Yes, said he and I said, "Give me your hand." He did so. He did not think I could leave him but he had told me so many times to go but I dare not go to anyone for help for the neighbors watched so closely to tell him when he came. He went to the country to work and I went to the head priest that did not know I had joined the Mormons and asked him to give me a recommend to a high officer so I could get a greater recommend for in those days no woman could get a recommend without her husband's consent so you see the Lord blinded the eyes of the priests and they gave me a good recommend. I told them I wished to go on a visit to Denmark to see my relatives so you can see how the Lord worked in my behalf.

I took what money we had and pit it in the bank, never took a cent of it and fixed the things in the house and got my mother to stay there, only taking a few changes of clothes and my little girl three years old. I bid farewell to my mother and neighbors and started alone for another nation. My mother wept bitterly for not one of them knew that I was going until that minute. The Spirit spoke to me on the road and said, "You cannot go this morning, your husband will overtake you." But I thought he was so far away that he could not. But they sent word that I had left and if he did not bring me back that I would go to America. So when I come to the sea with the brethren that was there, there was something to fix on the ship before we could go. While I was standing there my husband came up and took my girl away from me and hired two men to take my trunk back and ordered me to go before him, so I went as fast as I could. When passing a house where a sister in the gospel lived, I threw my bundle in at the door with my girl's clothes and a suit of my own and money enough for my fare and my pass and told her to take care of it and went on.

When we got home he took my trunk into the neighbors and told them not to let me have it and took my dress off of my back and my little girls and hid them and said, "When I come home from work I shall shut [p.3] you in this room and you shall never come out until you deny Mormonism." Then he thought of the bundle and said, "If I was not so busy I would make you go and find that bundle you had on your arm." And he told the two men that brought my trunk to guard me by the sea, that I should not make my escape if I come there again. Then he went to his work and there I sat and cried all day alone until I went into a neighbors to borrow some clothes to put on for he had left me in my petticoat. I had plenty of clothes in my other chest and bureau, but I did not wish to break it open for he had taken the keys with him.

I went to see a brother that told me the Spirit told him if I did not go tomorrow I never could for he would get power over me to keep me from going. So I got my bundle of clothes and went home and told my little girl I would go again the next morning. So we got up at three o'clock in the morning and started. It was two miles to the sea. When I got to the ship I thought I would go aboard before daylight so no one should see me there but there was two men and a woman there, they said, "Are you going to leave your man again? We are going to watch you." So I went to a friend who was not a Mormon and got him to carry my girl to the ship when it was ready to start. Then the two men that was watching me went after two policemen to take me. I could not answer them one word for if they had taken me I think I should have died in their hands for I had not eaten anything for two days, but had been fasting and praying and crying for I knew if I did not go I would be worse for me for the Lord says, he that will not leave father, mother, brother and sisters, houses and lands for my sake is not worthy to be my disciple. I cannot tell the half I have suffered but the Lord enabled me in this to prove my integrity. I left all that was near and dear to me for I loved the Lord more than anything on the earth.

The captain of the ship was attracted by the police and he came to me and asked me if I had my papers so I handed him those recommends I had received from the priests. When he got them he said, "You can go to America if you wish." But the ship went to Denmark. But I have got ahead of my account of several conversations I had with the priest before going to Denmark. The priest invited me and three other Mormon sisters to come and when we went he had his Bible laying on the table. he was preaching to try and convert these sisters and I asked him if I could read and he said no. And he said, "I have asked you here today and if you don't want to hear me I will send you to the bishop, and if you don't mind him you shall be put in prison." Then he commenced to preach and talked about our brethren and our prophets, making fun of them and asked how long I thought the Lord was, if I thought Jesus was three yards long. I told him I thought he was like other men in stature. He then said for me to quit answering him so much, to be grown like other women. I told him I could not bear to hear him lie about my God and my brethren. (couldn't make out . . .) and the Bible he professed to believe in and in his own image created he them, Jesus first in his own likeness God made man, male and female. Then he asked me if I could speak five minutes and him five. I told him I would not, I do not presume to ask my Father in Heaven to give me a certain time to speak for here we can see the fulfillment of the scriptures where it says, when you come before the priest you shall know what to answer him. So I went home and told the brethren about the priest sending for us women thinking to convert us back to Catholicism and how I answered him and they were made to rejoice exceedingly because of the Spirit of the Lord that was with me in answering the priest according to the scriptures.

I was so full of the Spirit I thought if I was a man I could go and preach the gospel and refute all the arguments that learned priests could bring to establish their doctrines. So when we were in meeting and just as he commenced a big discourse to us, there was a strange man that took him and cast him out and he went and brought a police to mob us out of the house and cast some clods and rocks at us, but not one of us got hurt. Next day I met him and told him I had much I would like to speak about and he said I would like to ask you some questions if you will come to my house tomorrow at one o'clock. So I went and he sat at one end of the table and I at the other and he could not commence and I had to begin. I asked him if he believed the Bible was going to be fulfilled as predicted by the prophets that God would set up his kingdom in the last days and gather his elect from four quarters of the earth. I also asked him if he believed we were made in the image of God. He said, "Of course, I believe what the Bible says." I asked him many more questions. The conversation lasted until it was dark and he told me I was all right if I would deny Mormonism. I told him I could not deny the truth. Jesus says that they are ashamed of me and deny me before men, I will deny before my Father which is in Heaven. [p.4]

I said, "If you're a servant of God and had the words of eternal life to go and teach the people and promise me that he would not persecute the Mormons, that Jesus never taught his disciples to destroy anybody. He said, "I have not time. All I can do is to keep a record of the dead and the marriages that take place. I am placed as a father of the sheep and when the wolves come to take my sheep, I am bound to take a course to drive the wolves away." I said, "I never saw the sheep drive the wolves away." He called the Mormons the wolves and the Catholics the sheep.

When I told the elders about this conversation with the priest which caused them to rejoice in our persecutions at this time, there was a brother and sister that was taken out of meeting by a mob and put in prison for three weeks. Each had a separate room while there, they were given bread and water. The sister said when she went in the room assigned her in the prison she smelled new baked bread and she made up her mind she would not taste bread nor water, but fast and pray during her stay in prison. She just rinsed her mouth with the water every morning. At the close of three weeks she had 18 pounds of bread saved to show for the truth of this statement, but she was very weak. The elders administered to her until she got well. I can testify that the gift of healing has been with me. I have been healed by the laying on of hands and have had hands laid on my children and they have been healed.

Now I will commence my journey to Denmark. I arrived all safe but had no home nor friends in a strange land with my little girl to take care of and not a cent of money and not a change of clothes, which made it very difficult for me to get along. I was weighed down with sorrow, but I put my trust in God and called on him for help. At length there was a man that took me in and put my name in the city record so no one could take me away from there. I then wrote to my husband and told him where he could find me if he wanted me for he had told me repeatedly to go to hell or anywhere if I could find anybody that would support me.

I promised the brethren that if he wanted me to go back I should go so to bring to a knowledge of the truth or else the brethren would have helped me to have gone to America. Notwithstanding all this trouble we had, he received my letter and came after me. The folks where I lived got him to stop and go to meeting. The brethren there all came after him to convert him and Viderburg preached that day and my man said it was the wonderfulest sermon he ever heard so I had to go home with him because I had promised the brethren I would not leave him, but it was a trial for me to go back to my native land.

When we got home to our house, I asked Roseberry that night if he would kneel down and pray with me. He said, "I guess you don't think I have prayed before. When I came home and found you gone, I knelt down and prayed here alone." Here we can see how the Lord works in mysterious ways to humble his children. Before I left him I had to go far away from the house to pray, when he was at home. He tried to make me cook on Sunday, but I thought it was a sin until I found out the rest of the Mormons did it and then I did not make a practice of cooking much on Sunday. He was tried in many ways but the brethren done all they could to get him to believe. After we came home they came and ate with him and slept with him. Before that he drove them away when they came, but they all had so much faith that he would be baptized sometime.

There was a brother that was almost ready to go to America that promised me I should go if it cost ever so much. He would deliver me for I was too good a woman to stay in Sweden. One evening when Roseberry came home I asked him if he would go and be baptized if you don't I will leave you the second time and never come back again. He said, "There is something speaks to me and says, 'Don't be in a hurry," and I said, "It is the evil that speaks to you to keep you from your duty. He tempts everyone." And he said, "If I thought so I would go right straight." So he went to the president and asked him to baptize him. In one month from the time he was baptized he was appointed secretary of the branch and became a good Saint, paid his tithes and offerings and was faithful in all things. In one month after the same brother that promised me to help me come back from Denmark to settle his business in Sweden and wanted us to go with him to America, but the president said he could not release Roseberry from being secretary so Brother Sorenson said he would write to the president of Denmark and ask him if we could not go and he wrote back to our president to let us go. Then I had two babies just born and only three weeks to get ready. It seems that I had all I could do to attend to my small children, but I had always said the minute the way opened up for me to go I would be ready. We could not sell our property and had to leave it so in the morning at early candlelight we started just like we [p.5] were going up in town. Roseberry took the oldest child. I took my two babies and two men carried a sack with a cradle and all our things. I had three dresses prepared for the journey and the cradle and all our things. The cradle was made so we could take it to pieces and set up when we stopped.

When we got to the sea Roseberry gave my sister's man all our property we had left. He gave eight dollars which was all he had to give Roseberry for it. My youngest sister could not say good-bye but said she would rather see me go to the grave than across the sea. My other sister followed me and her and her daughter stood and wept over me until the ship was ready to go.

I tried to hid my sorrow that they should not see me weep. I was not sorry to leave my native land but mourned because I could not get my relatives to believe the gospel. I thought I was like Joseph sold into Egypt when I left them never expecting to see them again. But the Lord blessed me and I was not sick like the others. We only stopped one night in Denmark and then we went on a ship to go to England.

We were crowded like a lot of sheep and suffered for eight days when it only took three in fair weather. The captain said he had not encountered such a storm for twelve years and I sat for three days and nights and could not move with my babies and all the others so sick that they could not help each other and did not know what minute we should be drowned.

Brother Widderbery lay in his room praying all the time. He came to us once in a while and said, "Be patient, the Lord will help us. We will not be lost." So we came to a place called Liverpool. Got there at 10 o'clock in the night and had to go on the big ship America before daylight next morning so I started on a five weeks voyage with the few clothes I left home with. We expected to get plenty in England when we left most of our clothes home but having to start at daylight we had no chance to get anything which made it very difficult for me with my three small children five weeks.

I never was in bed but sat on the floor on my feather bed rocking the cradle sometimes holding to two posts to keep from getting hurt and when the ship lay on the side. At last we landed at New York City and I told them they would have to take my children and take care of them for I could not move my limbs sitting so long. They said if I could not go they wold take me to the sick house and leave me there so I made a hard struggle to go. I did not want to be left.

We got on the railroad to where we got on the steamboat to go to Florence then the mob surrounded us and came very near drowning us. We expected to stop at Florence but received counsel from President Young to go on to Utah. We then started twelve hundred miles across desert plains to pull a handcart. This required great faith for me to walk and pull a handcart and carry my babies some of the time.

If the Lord had not blessed me I never could have lived through it for before we left the ship we thought we would starve. I was begging for bread and there was a man gave me the last he had for my little children. We had to carry provisions on the handcart to last us a week, besides our bedding and clothing, two hundred pounds of flour for us to pull, so Roseberry and another man went and took one of the sacks of four back and told them we could not pull so much, we had too many children.

I had to walk and carry one of my babies and help to pull the cart for many weeks until my feet begin to swell up so I had to ride some but it was so crowded I would rather walk as long as I possibly could. I cannot tell all I suffered on that journey but the Lord knew it. One day they tipped the wagon over and broke my hip so they had to carry me to the tent every night and there I lay on the ground with a few things under my head and a baby on each arm.

The reason I had no bedding and clothing, a boy hid most of my things to keep them from throwing them away as they were not allowed to haul many things. Roseberry got sick of starvation and could not pull the handcart any longer. About this time Joseph Young passed us and told the captain to give a pound and a half more flour per day or we would not be able to go any further, but we did not get more. When the captain saw we were about to starve he had an ox killed. The small share I got of the meat I kept mostly for my children.

When we came to Green River I bought three pounds of flour and one pound of shorts for two pillows which enable me to keep my children from starving. At Green River the company parted. Twenty-four handcarts went on as fast as they could to meet the teams from Salt Lake [p.6] with provisions. It was a happy time when they met the teams. If they had not brought provisions when they did we must have starved. At this time there was an old woman that rode in the wagon that saw I was nearly dead and she took my babies from me and kept them in the wagon. This enabled me to live until we overtook the company that met the wagons with the provisions.

When we camped at night those who came to meet us would have to go back and gather up those who lay on the road side not able to get to camp. Pen and ink cannot tell all I have passed through but by the help of God I have passed through firey trials and expect to get my reward. I never wished myself back in my native land but hope to stand as a saviour to my father's house. We arrived in Salt Lake City September 2, 1859 and Apostle Erastus Snow stood upon his horse in the midst of the camp and preached to us. I was not able to go out I was yet lame of the hurt I got when the wagon tipped over and broke my hip. The people was very kind to come and bring food ready cooked. The others had plenty but I did not get any. When I went out to the campfire there was many sisters sat around who had got more to eat than I had but there was woman come with a very large loaf of bread and asked me if I wanted it. I said yes. I thought the Lord had sent her for I could not speak one word of English. It was hard for me to express my gratitude to her, but the Lord will bless those who minister to the least of his saints who do it unto him but the unbelieving will say "Lord, when did we see thee hungered, thirsty, sick or in prison?"....[p.7]

BIB: Roseberry, Helena Erickson, [Autobiography], donated by G. Rulon Jenson, pp. 1-7.
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